oh snap

i know i touched on a tiny part of my journey yesterday and today i want to continue. 

i can tell you that my food growing up was not carefully thought out. it was not organic. it was not vegan/vegetarian. it was mostly grilled cheese and tomato soup, spam and chips, pizza, salad with loads of cheese and ranch, and any little snack cake or coke i could get my hands on. i was overweight and sad for years. i went to high school and thought being funny would change my being sad. but it did not. i went to college and i thought drinking and partying would make me happy. it did not. what did make me happy was cultivating my friendships and learning about myself. 

fast forward to 2011. i was at my heaviest. i was married to the man of my dreams and i was still overweight and unhappy. so i started my journey into new foods. now don't me wrong the changes in food helped but i knew i needed more. so in 2012 i started therapy. now i am not going to go into depth about everything i discussed there because then it would somehow not be the safe place i hold it up to be. however, i will tell you that one of the best things i ever did was go. i was lucky that i found someone who i clicked well with even if we are polar opposites. this person allowed me to safely explore my feelings about food and how i used food as comfort instead of fuel. i used it as a reward and as a punishment. i always felt this food coma high after a really good binge. now though. now things are different. am i fixed? hell no. but do i feel more in control? hell yes! i think when you are on a journey to self discovery and health you can't do it alone. there are so many options for people. weight watchers. therapy. blogging community. friends. family. over-eaters anonymous. look into your health insurance to see if you can see a dietitian. mine allows four visits a year and i wish it was more but it is better than nothing. go get established with a primary care doctor. have your blood drawn and make sure your vitamins are normal. make sure your hormones are normal. make sure you are not looking at diabetes. this isn't a medical professional opinion this is common sense. this is something everyone should do to take charge of their bodies.

next on deck to discuss. 
the dietitian.